Wednesday, December 3, 2014

So much going on!

So yesterday, I wrote that I had two reasons to be happy: one, I finally assembled my capsule wardrobe, and two, well, I never did get to two.

I pitched some ideas to another editor and she was interested!  This is exciting news, indeed.  I am impatiently patiently waiting to hear back with further instructions.  It is my unwavering belief that 2015 will be the year of two or more published articles.  As for editors who may be wading through my personal blog to get a feel for my writing skill, welcome!  I promise I am serious about this endeavor and will strive to do my very best for each of you.  Which is probably about one.  For now ;)

After my one devoted follower Sara-Across-the-Pond commented on one of my recent entries, I started thinking about all the plans I make.  It's true, I suppose, that I have lofty aspirations in my life.  It appears, while my initial dream to be a contributing member of society was a kind of baseline goal, I am now a thriving member of society.  I am no longer satisfied just be be "normal."  I want to effect some change on a larger scale.  Working among 800+ elementary age students makes me happy.  While once my efforts only affected 8-20 students, now I am able to help dozens each day.  I feel the same about my writing.

Right now, my writing affects me and a few others.  Being published gives me the ability to share my ideas with others, for better or worse.  The more I think about it, the more I like it.  You see, my parents have always been egocentric, self-driven, motivated, and confident.  Unlike me. Growing up, my father had two jobs, then retired as a lieutenant in the FDNY, and built a house.  Over the course of her life, my mom has traveled to five continents, speaks multiple languages, pursued careers in modeling, singing, dancing, and retired as an ESL teacher.  In her 60s, she decided to become an actress and after a few months is well on her way, even racking up credits on IMDB.  After decades of self-hate, self-doubt, instability, and lack of confidence, I'm finally starting to cultivate some of the traits my parents had, which were often viewed by me as shortcomings.  I finally am realizing my strengths and potential.  That I am worthy of being loved and capable of giving love.  That I am intelligent and beautiful, no matter what naysayers say.  That I am talented in some areas, and that though I have these talents, it doesn't mean I don't have to work hard at improving them. There. I've going to say it.  I finally love me.

Lastly, if this is just too emotional and stuff, just picture me typing in with a hairy cat strewn across my face. Because that's how it really is.  I can't breathe...


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